


antumbra

by transient_transit



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Blood Magic, Gen, Magic, Magic-Users, Self-Harm, seventeen ensemble - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transient_transit/pseuds/transient_transit
Summary: History is what you make of it.





	1. Bravery

**Author's Note:**

> this was a ride and a half
> 
> thanks to yunnie, chips, and joyceberry for helping out and listening to my screaming always, i would've imploded otherwise

The audience waits with bated breath.

Jihoon steps forward to meet Jisoo coming up the stairs, matching their steps. The organ drones on deep in the background, grand and strong. 

Reaching up on the tips of his toes, Jihoon lifts the black veil off Jisoo's face, letting it settle over the crown of his head.

"Do you accept your position as the right hand of the Head Light Mage, Dark Mage?" intones the man next to him as Jihoon nudges his right hand carefully between the inside of the black hood and Jisoo's cheek to hold his face.

"I do," drones the other man behind Jisoo, who lowers himself to one knee in front of Jihoon, looking up at him in deference. Through his own white veil, Jihoon sees Jisoo's eyes, staring and wide in an effort to keep awake. 

Breathing deeply, Jihoon focuses, bringing his left hand, palm up, from his core. Jisoo's magic courses through his right palm, mixing with his own, coalescing solidly between them into a glowing ball before flattening out into a ring that expands to encompass both of them before contracting sharply. 

Jihoon feels something in him twist, tighten. Jisoo closes his eyes, sags slightly into Jihoon's palm.

The audience cheers. Jihoon accepts Jisoo's proffered hand and leads him swiftly, head bowed, around to the back of the platform, down the stairs and back into the castle. Jisoo is crashing fast, sleepily leaning more and more weight on Jihoon as he leads them back to their room. 

Jisoo follows Jihoon blindly to the bed, sitting when Jihoon pushes on his shoulders and resting his forehead on Jihoon's arm as he works the clasp on the cloak and pulls it off. Jisoo's already in his pyjamas, so it's easy for Jihoon to tug his sandals off and tuck him into bed where he immediately falls asleep. 

Jihoon traces the face of his partner with his eyes. This year, Jisoo had sacrificed sleep for the grand ceremonial rebinding of the Head Dark and Head Light Mages, as he did every year. For the past three days, Jisoo had lived mainly on herbal drinks and Jihoon's magic as he built up the "sacrifice" he was to offer up to Jihoon. 

It was ridiculous. Jihoon would much rather have the sleep in Jisoo than use it as a component to rebind them, but unfortunately it was necessary as nobody had found a way around it quite yet-- though not for a lack of trying.

Besides, King Seungcheol had already abolished most of the unnecessary parts of the ceremony, only keeping enough there for appearance's sake. Jisoo still needed to convert something of his into the magic he'd intertwine with Jihoon to restrengthen their magical bond, and sleep was by far the least damaging of all the things he could potentially sacrifice. At least now he didn't have to drip his blood into a cup and Jihoon didn't have to drink it. The rest of the kingdom were still of the opinion that Dark Mages were named so because they did actual evil, and that if you looked a Mage in the face they'd smite you on the spot. But as long as they weren't requiring Jisoo to give up more things just for show, Jihoon wasn't too fussed. 

Beside him, Jisoo mumbles something and stretches to reach out to Jihoon's side of the bed, face slack with sleep for the first time in days. The worried knot in Jihoon loosens a little at the sight, and he feels suddenly weary after the extensive ceremonial preparations of the past few days. Sighing, he shoves Jisoo back over to his side of the bed and gets in with him for a quick nap.

 

~~~~~~

 

Jisoo is always too thoughtful.

Jihoon ends up in the kitchen with him, watching his arms move up and down as he cuts cucumber slices for lunch. They're covered in scars: old, faded lines with newer pink, puckered lines overlapping them, the result of a hundred different ceremonies and a hundred slices of the blade. It's nothing Jihoon hasn't seen before-- he helped bandage half of them-- but he finds himself thinking more about it today, the reality of it laid out bare on the skin of Jisoo's forearms. There's a faint diagonal line just beneath the jut of the ulna on his right wrist that Jihoon remembers being the first cut, done in class by the instructor and hidden under a plaster like a dirty secret. Its pair is the thin line on his other wrist that Jisoo made himself, sitting at his desk with the knife clutched shaking and too tightly in his hand for minutes and minutes until Jihoon, trying not to look but unable to stop, saw the blade slice down out of the corner of his eye. 

Jisoo had sucked air in through his teeth and dropped the knife. Jihoon had very carefully not turned around, remained staring unseeingly at the page he was supposed to memorise for tomorrow until the bathroom door had closed and Jisoo wasn't there to see him glance haltingly over his shoulder before giving up and getting out of his chair to go over to Jisoo's desk. The knife, not even bloodied, was still where it had been dropped: on a book detailing how and in which hand to hold a blade for a specific purpose or meaning. He'd still been debating whether to pick it up and clean it off or not when Jisoo traipsed out of the bathroom, a matching plaster on his other wrist. Jihoon had started guiltily, not wanting to be caught looking but unsure of why. Jisoo hadn't said anything though, just reached past Jihoon for the knife. Watching him, Jihoon had thought that Jisoo was someone who was far braver than he was.

Watching him now, Jihoon thinks that the easy, firm precision of Jisoo's slices probably comes from all the practise he's had on himself. 

"Jihoon, are you done with the cheese?" Jihoon looks up from the bowl of cream cheese he's been stirring, jolted out of his thoughts, and nods belatedly.

They relocate to the counter. Jisoo stands a handspan away from Jihoon, carefully not crowding him and giving him enough personal space. It's a very Jisoo thing, to know things like that about people, to always remember the little details and account for them. It's something Jihoon is no good at; he only ever knows anything about Jisoo because they've been together for so long. 

"Did you want some as well?" he asks, when he sees Jisoo set aside some plain toast on a separate plate for Wonwoo. Jisoo isn't always good with solid food when he hasn't slept enough. 

He shakes his head. "Maybe a little later," he says, apologetically. Jihoon puts another sandwich into the basket, leaves it alone. 

They pile a trolley high with plates and leave it in the communal research area for the others, taking the basket with them. Jisoo tries the door for Room 17 and holds it open for Jihoon when it isn't locked. 

"Food!" cheers Soonyoung, hopping off the table where Junhui and Wonwoo are poring over a book and taking the basket off Jihoon, "I'm so happy, you don't even know, you two are angels." 

"There's plain toast for Wonwoo if he wants it," says Jisoo, bearing patiently with Soonyoung's hugging, "I brought some just in case."

"Oh, favouritism?" teases Wonwoo, getting up to peer into the basket. Soonyoung pouts. 

"He's had three separate people show up today just to give him food since he's allowed to eat today. I'm glad you didn't forget about us, everyone always just wants to stuff Wonwoo. Seokmin brought him an apple pie, and he ate the entire thing himself."

"It was an incredibly good, delicious, scrumptious, mouth-watering, sweet, warm, crunchy, excellent apple pie."

"Meannnn," whines Soonyoung, throwing himself dramatically over Junhui's shoulders, "did you hear him, he ate it and he didn't give any to me and he's describing how it tasted!" 

"Mmhm," says Junhui, distracted. Soonyoung puffs his cheeks out at him, annoyed, but lets Junhui steal a bite of his sandwich anyway. Behind them, Jisoo hides a laugh behind his hand.

"Did you eat already?" Wonwoo asks him. 

Jihoon hears him reply, "I had a little earlier," and wanders over to see what Junhui's doing, leaves it alone. The spell the Junhui-Soonyoung-Wonwoo trio have been trying to get to work since forever is pinned to the wall right above them. Junhui also has another copy he's been scribbling on, tucked beside the huge tome he's flipping through now. 

"We think it might be connected to that quarter-circle of runes that was found near Carrot River," says Soonyoung through his sandwich, watching him, "because we might've been looking at it the wrong way around. If we account for some erosion and messy sigil-drawing, the circle might be orientated east-west instead of north-south. We're just missing a few more symbols."

"You think it's the same spell?"

"It makes sense. The old castle at Carrot River is in an easily defensible position, and the river probably washed away the rest of the circle. Maybe it needs to be done outside or something. Junhui wants to try it soon, sometime this week."

"I was hoping I could prove something by finding the rest of the symbols. But I've gone through the whole book five times by now, and I haven't found anything." Junhui gives a frustrated sigh, and pushes his glasses up his nose. "I don't know, maybe it's worth trying outside anyway. This would be so much easier if the whole "Magic Exclusivity" thing hadn't happened."

Wonwoo snorts, coming up behind them. "If that hadn't happened we wouldn't need to figure out how this spell worked anyway, because we'd already know."

Jihoon grimaces. If the previous group of Dark and Light Mages hadn't fought, set all of the biggest libraries in all the kingdoms on fire and then vanished off to whoever-knew-where, a lot of the kingdom's existing problems wouldn't be problems at all. Re-discovering elementary magical principles and reverse-engineering whatever spells they had left would help a lot, but even the best and brightest Mages could only do so much. 

"Maybe we'd really be enemies if it hadn't," says graduated-third-in-class Kwon Soonyoung, placing cucumber slices from his fourth sandwich on his eyelids and lying back on the table, "like how we're meant to be Dark and Light and opposing forces and hating each other and segregated and all that."

"I certainly hate you," says Wonwoo, rolling his eyes.

"You don't count, you're the same as I am." 

"Junhui's too nice to hate either of us." 

"And Jisoo isn't?"

"We don't actually have any connection with the previous Mages," Jihoon points out, "when they left they took all the known Mages and all their history with them, we don't have to hate anyone just because they might've. Besides, they could've just misled us like we're misleading everyone right now. Our abilities complement each other too well for it to be a coincidence." 

"The kingdom is very traditional, with a lot of culture that depends on its own history, but we have very little idea of what that history even is," Junhui says, quietly.

The others are silent, contemplative. Out of the corner of his eye, Jihoon sees Jisoo yawn and prop his hip on the side of the table. He sees Jihoon looking and gestures that he's fine, but Jihoon makes an excuse to the others and ushers him out anyway. 

"You don't have to take care of me, you know."

"Then stop being a troublesome person who doesn't take care of himself enough. "

He sighs, but lets Jihoon lead the way back, even as he's clearly heading for the kitchen again. Taking care of people is very much not Jihoon's strong suit, but someone has to try. Jisoo manages to keep down some soup, this time, so Jihoon is satisfied even if he can't quite finish the chicken. 

In the hallways outside their rooms, they bump into King Seungcheol and Hansol with arms piled high with books, arguing about something. 

"Look, Dark Mages traditionally convert energy. That's why they were named "dark", because they sucked in the light. The circle is impossible if the Dark and Light Mages switch positions. It just doesn't work," says Hansol, frustrated.

"Could it? I mean, we don't technically know anything."

Hansol sighs. "I'm not a magic historian for nothing, Your Majesty. It's clear that the person who has to create the actual spell has to be on the outside to receive the magic and actually materialise it, since the circle directs the magic outwards. And since Light Mages are in charge of the creation aspect, they have to be the ones to materialise the magic. So no, I don't think it's possible."

"Could the Dark Mage bounce it back?" asks King Seungcheol, frowning. 

"Yes, but then why not just invert the circle structure? It's easier, and conserves energy."

"Is this about the new part-circle they discovered next to the old guardhouse?" pipes up Jisoo.

King Seungcheol nods. "Part of it is under the foundations of the building, so it doesn't actually make any sense for the Light Mage to be on the outside of the circle. If they were inside, they'd be protected. The Dark Mage obviously doesn't need the protection, because they can protect themselves. It doesn't take much work to just make the circle redirect the magic inside."

"It doesn't make sense either way!" groans Hansol. 

Tilting his head, Jihoon asks, "Wasn't there a similar problem with the part-circle we found on the border? Someone had to be in the river or something for that one to work." 

"Oh?"

"Yeah, go ask Seungkwan about it. I remember he and Minghao were complaining about it a few months ago." 

"Thanks!" says Hansol, shifting to get a better grip on his books and rushing off in the direction of the research area. 

"Good job picking up on that," says their king, approvingly. He turns to Jisoo. "And how are you? The ceremony was yesterday, did you rest up well?" 

Jihoon says, "We're going to go take a nap now, actually," before Jisoo can even open his mouth. 

King Seungcheol looks worried. "You should get more sleep," he says, peering at the dark circles still under Jisoo's eyes, "you two should maybe take a few days off."

"I'm fine, Your Majesty, thank you, but there's no need to worry."

"No," says King Seungcheol thoughtfully, "I don't want to work you to death. You and Jihoon have served me well these past few years, and you look like you're about to drop. Go to Seokmin's festival tonight or something. Have some fun. I'll tell Chan and Mingyu. It's an order," he adds, as Jisoo tries to protest.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," says Jihoon. Jisoo looks a little unhappy, but doesn't say anything as the king nods at them and leaves them to continue back to their rooms. 

"I don't need to sleep, Jihoon," sighs Jisoo once they're inside, "really, I'm fine."

"Even if you don't need it, there's nothing wrong with doing it anyway. King's orders."

"You don't have to sleep with me all the time, either," he adds as Jihoon gets into bed next to him. 

Jihoon doesn't say anything, just thinks about being fifteen and watching Jisoo go through his magical education, different from Jihoon's, how he hadn't even known anything was wrong until he woke up one night to the sound of Jisoo dry heaving in the bathroom. He'd stayed frozen in his bed, not knowing what to do as the noise of the water running down the drain filtered through the door, still couldn't make himself say anything as Jisoo climbed back into his bed like nothing was wrong, not even trying to wake Jihoon up. Minutes ticked by, then Jihoon had forced himself up, something icy and leaden sitting in the pit of his stomach, to push his bed across the room right next to Jisoo's. 

Jisoo had tried pretending to be asleep, but had tensed up involuntarily when Jihoon got back into bed behind him. Jihoon had tried to curl them close, feeling the cold sweat on the back of Jisoo's neck, unsure if Jisoo really wanted the proximity. 

After that, he'd fallen asleep at some point, but had been woken up again when Jisoo woke up gasping and choking next to him. He'd waited, eyes wide open, staring at the fuzzy shape of the chandelier and hearing Jisoo retch again and again and again in the bathroom. 

He'd only closed his eyes when he heard the sound of Jisoo padding back across the room. There had been a pause as Jisoo stood beside the bed, then Jihoon had felt the bed dip as Jisoo got in and rolled over to push his face into Jihoon's shoulder, clutching wordlessly at his nightshirt. 

Jihoon had put his arms around him and patted him a little awkwardly, feeling entirely out of his depth. Jisoo had fallen asleep eventually, but Jihoon hadn't dared to stop moving his hands.

The next morning, neither of them made any attempts to put Jihoon's bed back to where it was supposed to be, so it had just stayed permanently next to Jisoo's. 

That was six years ago. Jihoon wonders if Jisoo's thinking about that too. 

If he is, he doesn't voice it.

 

~~~

 

Jisoo wakes up again, a little before five. Jihoon's been up for hours by then, reading while propped up on his elbows next to him. 

"You didn't have to stay here," he says again. Jisoo hasn't had bad nights in a long time, but Jihoon knows he'd hide them if he did, so he just tells him "Seokmin's festival starts in an hour," and gets out of bed to get dressed. 

Second Prince Seokmin's festival is always an extremely big event. Many people from different places specifically come for it every year, travelling miles and miles just to celebrate together. Jihoon still remembers Prince Seokmin's first announcement, walking onto stage with shaky legs and declaring that he was going to try hosting a festival to break up the monotony of working every day. It was small thing held by the river, quickly overwhelmed by how many people turned up for it. A wild success. The next year, King Seungcheol offered his son more funding, and the festival had only grown larger and larger every year from there. 

They're not officially allowed out of the castle as Mages, though, so Jihoon pulls their travellers' clothes out from the trunk in the closet. They're a little dusty; they haven't taken a trip out of the castle in a while. 

The festival is themed around lanterns this time. Jihoon and Jisoo get offered lanterns by a young girl at the entrance and told to make a wish when they release it on Carrot River. Jisoo picks a red lantern, and Jihoon picks blue. The girl smiles at them, and tells them she hopes their wishes come true. 

Making a wish and expecting it to come true is stupid, but Jihoon does it anyway, wishing for health and happiness and prosperity and for Jisoo to start goddamn telling him things as he stares into the flame of the candle inside his lantern. The he rolls his sleeves up and sets it gently into the cold river, careful not to let his wet hands drip into the opening at the top of the lantern. The lower section of Carrot River is calm, so it knocks gently into Jisoo's lantern as it floats away. 

"I got my sleeves wet," says Jisoo from next to him. Jihoon opens his mouth to call him stupid for not pulling his sleeves up, then shuts it when he remembers Jisoo can't without baring his forearms and showing the entire festival what he is.

"Do you want my cloak instead?" he offers. Jisoo shakes his head and makes a poor attempt at squeezing the water out from the ends of his sleeves.

Jihoon wonders what he wished for, if he wished for anything at all.

"Welcome, everyone, to the 4th Festival on Carrot River! Thank you all again for coming this year and making this a great success!" Prince Seokmin's voice booms across them, magically enhanced, "We'll now begin the festivities with a performance in ten minutes. Don't miss it!"

"We should find him, he's done such a great job this year too," says Jisoo, so they move through the crowds towards the temporary stage and the tent set up beside it. They make sure nobody's around before ducking in through the back of tent, where Prince Seokmin's talking to a pair in a black cloak and a white cloak. It turns out to be Mingyu and his partner, Chan. 

"Hey," Mingyu greets them as they walk to. Chan and Prince Seokmin are going over the finer details of what magic needs to be done for the performances. "I heard from the king, you two should take it easy. Don't worry, Chan and I will be fine."

"Thank you," says Jisoo, smiling a little ruefully.

Mingyu laughs. "If we can't even step up when needed, why are we both the Second Heads? Our titles aren't just for show."

"You two elders can even retire if you want," teases Chan. 

"We're only a few years older than you," Jisoo scolds, laughing. He turns to Seokmin. "You did a great job this year too, Seokmin, the lanterns were all so nice." 

"Oooh, did you wish for something and set them on the river then?" Seokmin asks eagerly.

"Yep!"

"Ahh, I'm so glad you're enjoying yourselves. You Mages work so hard, I'm so grateful I can host events where everyone can enjoy themselves." 

"We are," says Jihoon a little gruffly, "congratulations, you've done well."

"Jihoon's never complimented me before, this is really something to celebrate!"

"Shut up," he grumbles, "I'll tell you that you did a good job if I think it's true. It's not that hard to earn praise from me." 

"He calls me stupid all the time," Jisoo stage-whispers to the rest. Jihoon rolls his eyes. 

"Prince Seokmin!" someone calls from the back, and Seokmin ducks away quickly, saying "Oops, gotta go, have fun tonight!" 

"He's grown a lot," says Mingyu fondly. "It seems like yesterday when he was still worried about not being able to live up to his brother or father."

Jihoon snorts. "His Majesty's been in the business for decades, and I haven't met anyone better at scheming than Jeonghan yet. Seokmin's not meant for that stuff. He's doing perfectly fine with everything he's doing now." 

Chan stares. "Wow, you're really laying it on thick today, huh? Are you going soft? I can see that you really needed this break if this is what it was doing to you," he says, and Jisoo drags Jihoon out of the tent before he can prove to Chan exactly how much he has not been going soft. 

They go and take look at the stalls, and Jisoo buys some overpriced fried chicken and baked potatoes. Jihoon doesn't complain about it like he usually would, just glad that Jisoo seems to be in a mood to eat, and refuses when Jisoo offers him some. The singing starts up from the stage as they move farther and farther down the line of stalls, farther and farther away from the crowds. Jisoo tries to win a stuffed rabbit in a throwing game, but misses. Jihoon puts a bit of his magic into the ball before his throw, and succeeds. He knows that Jisoo didn't really like that he cheated, but he doesn't mention it and takes the rabbit without complaint once they've left the stall. 

Magic should be good for something, Jihoon figures, other than making Jisoo miserable.

Jihoon is a little taken aback by his thoughts-- is Jisoo miserable?

Suddenly, Jihoon realises that he knows nothing about where Jisoo came from. The king allows them to visit their families, but Jisoo never seemed to go see his. He'd thought perhaps that Jisoo was from a family who'd disowned their child after they turned out to be a Dark Mage, but of so, why had he never said anything to Jihoon about it? 

Jihoon knows the slow blink Jisoo does whenever he's trying to stay awake, the foods he likes best after being sick, the feel of his magic thrumming though his body, but he doesn't even know if Jisoo has siblings. 

"Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a sister," says Jisoo, then, "what brought that on?" 

Jihoon shrugs. "I just realised I didn't know," he says, a little defensively. 

Jisoo hums. "She's three years older than me. She travels with my parents, so I haven't seen them in a while."

"Travels?"

"My parents are travellers. Living the nomadic life."

"I see," says Jihoon, a little relieved that Jisoo's parents weren't prejudiced against him for what he did, "that's interesting. How did you come to be here, then?"

"I was passing through your kingdom, and the identifying spell got me. I tried it out, decided I wanted to stay, and my parents let me."

Jihoon blinks, surprised. "Weren't you only fourteen?"

It's Jisoo's turn to shrug. "Mmhm. What about it?"

Jihoon can't imagine saying goodbye to his family at fourteen to stay on in a strange land while they continued to travel without him. 

"It wasn't that weird for me," Jisoo continues, "because I'd already seen and gotten used to a lot of new places before this one. We'd never stay somewhere for too long. My parents would always be itching to get back onto the road. Leaving is always easier than you think it is."

"I've never left this kingdom," Jihoon admits. 

"Most people haven't, and won't. But we could always leave tomorrow if we felt like it, you know?"

Jihoon starts. "But what about the kingdom? What about the rest of the Mages? What would we even pack? Where would we go? Wouldn't the king stop us? Wh-"

"I was kidding," laughs Jisoo, "but it's not really that hard. You just need a map, food, water, money, and a lot of rope. And you know the king would let us go. Heck, he'd probably give us the things we needed and send us off." 

Not for the first time, Jihoon thinks that Jisoo is a lot braver than he is. 

"I'm not sure I could leave without you anymore, though," continues Jisoo, grinning, "I'd miss you a lot."

"Don't get all sentimental on me, Jisoo."

"I would never."

Jihoon shoves his shoulder. Jisoo only laughs harder. They find a tree stump relatively close to the river, and that's where they sit for the rest of the night, just enjoying each other's company and waiting for the main event.

It doesn't disappoint. The lanterns look beautiful, floating downstream together, reds and whites and blues and greens all clumped together. Jihoon wonders if their lanterns are still travelling together. 

When all the lanterns have passed, they go back up to the castle together. Jihoon is immensely grateful to the cloak for insulating him against the chilly night. He wonders if Jisoo ever owned one like this, if it was used for actual travelling instead of as a disguise. 

Jihoon doesn't want to leave the castle, but what Jisoo said is stuck in his brain. He can't help thinking about it. 

What's out there? What's it like? Does he even want to find out? He's never left this kingdom. 

Jihoon lies awake, thinking, long after Jisoo's fallen asleep beside him.


	2. Guilt

Jihoon makes the spells, and they make him guilty. 

It's Jihoon who has a knack for taking what they know about spells and merging them into his own creations, Jihoon who somehow knows that drawing the inner of the circle a little bigger and the outer half a little smaller will somehow increase the output, Jihoon who seems to know somewhere subconsciously inside his head exactly what to ask of Jisoo to produce the right results.

And all of it makes him feel guilty.

Jisoo can see it in the slump of his shoulders, the way he stares forward too stiffly whenever Jisoo raises the blade to his arm to cut once, twice, thrice, as dictated by him and him alone, the way Jihoon watches him whenever he thinks Jisoo isn't looking. Jisoo's the one cooperating, but Jihoon still thinks it's all, entirely, completely, only his fault. 

It'd almost be insulting, if Jisoo didn't know it was because Jihoon cared. 

Last night he definitely slept too much, because Jisoo wakes up at dawn and can't get back to sleep no matter how long he lies there with his eyes closed, trying. He gives up after a few minutes, and fishes around in the pile of books next to his bed to read about history and Mages and the split of the previous kingdom, but Jisoo's eyes keep straying to the lump snuggled in the blankets beside him. 

Jihoon sleeps next to Jisoo because once upon a night he awoke to Jisoo being sick in the bathroom and was horrified that he wasn't awoken on purpose. Jisoo had known he would have liked to know, but had been unable to say anything about how he could only see the blood on his hands if he tried to close his eyes. Several nights earlier-- the very first time-- he'd paused next to the dark outline of Jihoon's shape in the blankets and thought very hard about telling him. 

Time ticked by. Jisoo's feet got colder. 

He'd almost reached out and touched Jihoon's shoulder several times, but couldn't bring himself to wake him. When he'd turned to leave, Jihoon had mumbled and rolled over and Jisoo had frozen, heart pounding, unsure if he wanted Jihoon to wake up and see him or continue slumbering on, unaware.

In the end, Jihoon hadn't woken up and Jisoo had just gone back to bed, something like disappointment or relief swirling in the pits of his emptied stomach. 

It was easier to walk past Jihoon's bed the second time, and every subsequent time after that. 

But he hadn't been able to hide from him forever, and when he was finally caught Jisoo went weak with relief, was weak for feeling relief, hadn't deserved being allowed to press his face against Jihoon's collarbones or feel his hand card through his hair, hesitant and jerky but comforting and real. 

The next morning, Jisoo hadn't been brave enough to push Jihoon's bed back to where it was supposed to be, and Jihoon hadn't been cold-hearted enough, no matter what he liked to pretend, so there it had stayed. 

Jihoon shifts a little in his burrito of blankets, curling up tighter. It's kind of late; the sunlight is already filtering into the room between a gap in the curtains behind their bed. Perhaps Jihoon had been more tired than he let on earlier-- he doesn't usually sleep in like this. 

Sighing, Jisoo gives up on his book. He isn't absorbing anything from it anyway, so he gets up to try and do something productive instead. Except, of course, he's been banned from doing any work for the next few days. 

Jisoo ends up wandering down the hallways by himself aimlessly, leaving Jihoon in the room to sleep with the curtains pulled more firmly together. He doesn't really mean to, but he has nowhere to go and nothing to do so his feet naturally lead him back to the research area where he greets the others, asks after projects, asks after people, and is asked after in return. Chan and Mingyu aren't in their room when he goes to see them, either, so Jisoo just ends up standing around uselessly while the other Mages do things. Not doing anything when everyone is so clearly busy is making him restless, so he's glad when Jihoon finally turns up with a message from Prince Jeonghan for them to see him "as soon as it's convenient."

"Breakfast first, though," says Jihoon. Jisoo is surprised to find that he's hungry. 

In the kitchen, Jihoon scoops him extra chunks of meat from the pot on purpose and eats a slightly lighter breakfast than he would usually in anticipation of having to eat more leftovers than usual. Jisoo tries his best but still ends up ruefully watching Jihoon shove the remaining few pieces into his mouth all at once, just like the first time he ate everything Jisoo couldn't because he'd been feeling too sick to try. 

"I'm sorry," Jisoo had said miserably under his breath, half to himself and half to the food, certain that he'd only throw everything else back up if he ate anything else. 

Jihoon had snorted and picked the pieces off his plate and eaten them for him. "If you can't eat it, don't force it," he'd said, chewing noisily, "just give it to me," and turned back to finishing off his own meal. 

Jisoo had tried to thank him but Jihoon waved it off, saying, "You try to do too much. If you've done everything you can, stop worrying and let me do something about it."

A simple philosophy. That night Jisoo dreamed the dream where he held the knife and Jihoon's life in his hands again. But instead of having to plunge it into his chest to save Jihoon with the magic that the act would give him, Jihoon had turned and grabbed his hand and they ran and hurtled off the edge of the cliff behind them together. 

Jisoo had woken up, the adrenalin from the fall still coursing through his veins, but he did so quietly enough that Jihoon hadn't, unaware as he always was of how much he had helped. Jihoon liked to kid himself that he wasn't good with people, but it had always been more of a question of time and expression than an actual inability to understand. 

Of course, he was also constantly comparing himself to Jisoo and finding himself not nearly good enough. Since they had met, Jihoon had envied Jisoo's supposed ability to put his thoughts into words and read people. It was an insecurity that he liked to hide by engaging with the work rather than the people, leaving that part up to Jisoo.

Jihoon sticks the last spoonful of rice into his mouth and stands up. "Shall we go?"

The royal rooms are located in the back half of the castle, the safest area. First Prince Jeonghan has a room that overlooks the east side, furnished with a large mahogany desk and a comfortable chair in front of a large, glass-stained window. Of course, Prince Jeonghan, being Jeonghan, is sitting up in his giant bed scribbling on parchment instead of at his perfectly functional desk. 

"Hey," he says when they come in, putting the paper aside, "can I get you guys to do a favour for me?"

"We're taking a few days off," Jihoon interjects.

"It's okay, we don't have anything to do," says Jisoo, ignoring the glare Jihoon sends his way, "We're the Head Mages anyway, so-"

"Nah, I know that, don't worry about that. It doesn't involve magic. Well, it does, but not you doing the magic or research or anything like that. I just want you to grab Chan and Mingyu for me. They rode out this morning because Seungkwan and Minghao wanted them to do some kind of high-level magic on the circle they found or something, but some delegates are coming today and I need them back."

"Oh. Where are they?"

"Not very far. They're just next to the river where the Seungkwan-Minghao team have been stuck for ages trying to dig under the river to see the rest of the circle. The delegates are arriving at night, anyway, so you have plenty of time." Prince Jeonghan yawns and lays back on his bed, sitting up apparently being too much effort for him. "Go outside, get some sun or something."

"Like you ever go outside," says Jihoon, rolling his eyes.

"It's my privilege to have fair white princely skin. I'm just trying to conform to beauty standards." 

"We'll do it," says Jisoo before Jihoon can return the volley.

Prince Jeonghan beams. "Thanks. There's a map in the second drawer. Somewhere close to the top, but you might have to rifle through them a little. Come back here when you're done." He doesn't sit up again, just holds the parchment above his face to read it over. 

Jihoon sighs, but goes over to the aforementioned drawer to have a look. Prince Jeonghan liked to seem lazy and uncaring, but the amount of papers he had in his desk proved otherwise. King Seungcheol hadn't asked him to take on any responsibility, but he'd stepped up anyway when the queen had died. The prince had only been fourteen. 

"Found it," sighs Jihoon, yanking the paper out and closing the drawer, "let's go."

"Appreciate it," calls Prince Jeonghan from his bed, waving lazily at them as they close his door.

 

~~~~~~

 

It's not official Mage business, but it is scorching hot so Jihoon lends Jisoo a white Light Mage cloak. They go to the stables, where Jihoon takes his customary white mare and Jisoo remembers to pick a horse whose colour will match his clothes. 

Jisoo hasn't ridden a horse in a very long time, but his body still remembers the movements. It takes him back to when he was younger, riding on the horses that belonged to his family and never staying in one place for longer than a year. 

He'd hated it, honestly. Staying in one place just long enough for the dust to settle then moving on, always moving on. He'd never seen the appeal of a lifestyle like that, no matter how his parents enjoyed it and no matter how many people enviously asked him about what it must be like. Once he was given an excuse in the form of potentially becoming a Dark Mage, he'd practically jumped at the opportunity to stay behind. 

Maybe it had been slightly impulsive of him to decide to stay behind in a foreign kingdom, but Jisoo had been young and stubborn and sure of himself. His parents had put up a token protest, but he'd known that they would be fine with it, had asked on the assumption that they'd let him.

And so they had. Jihoon had taken it for bravery, but Jisoo had just wanted stability. It had been strange seeing them off to continue without him, but the feeling had faded soon enough and he'd quickly gotten used to being part of the castle and Jihoon's partner. The horse he's riding on now seems smaller than the ones his family owned long ago, but Jisoo supposes that he's just grown. 

The site has grown since he saw it last, too, as just a dusty quarter-circle in the bank of Carrot River. There's a bunch of workers digging near where the river has been blocked by an invisible barrier, right next to the edge of the sigils carved into the ground and the little full circle next to it. Chan and Mingyu's work, Jisoo guesses. He and Jihoon head for the tent pitched a few metres away from the outer edge of the circle. The guards near the entrance take one look at their garb and step aside, bowing. 

Inside, Seungkwan and Minghao are having a row. 

"There's no other explanation for why the rest of the circle seems to be gone so perfectly! Look, we dug up everything a metre from the edge of that circle! It's got to be magically reinforced somehow," argues Seungkwan, gesturing wildly at his partner.

"Magic doesn't work like that! Do you know how many years it's been? How much power would you need to even preserve it for a month, let alone for however many years it's been since?" Minghao hisses back, equally adamant. 

"Guys, guys, stop arguing, we can't know either one for sure," pleads Hansol from between them.

"What's wrong?" asks Jisoo, stepping in.

"This idiot thinks that you can just preserve magic circles for years!"

"This dumbass thinks that people could build a magic circle so close to a river even without protection!"

"You have to stand in the river anyway," Hansol points out, and both of the other two whirl on him instantly. 

"Alright, alright," interrupts Jihoon before Hansol can get verbally skewered, "start from the beginning, please."

Apparently, the original magic circle had been made so close to the river that it had been partly eroded, erasing a good three-quarters of the symbols. Exactly three-quarters, actually, leaving behind a perfect, clean, quarter-circle, with the edges clearly shaped and defined. 

Seungkwan was convinced that there was some sort of spell on the remaining part that had faded away unevenly, thus preserving a part of the circle but allowing the rest of the circle to be erased. 

Minghao was certain that that was exactly not what had happened, because the magic would've been used up too fast to preserve any part of the circle for longer than a few days. 

"And we still don't know why someone has to stand in the stupid river for it to work," grumbles Hansol, disgruntled. "I'd say standing in the river is worse than being unprotected outside of a building, but what do I know, I'm not some ancient Mage." 

"Do you have to stand in the river?" asks Mingyu, coming into the tent and taking off his white hood. Behind him, Chan waves to everyone in the room, plucking at the front of his cloak to try to get some air inside. 

"Did the scan turn up anything?" asks Minghao at the same time that Seungkwan exclaims, "Of course you have to stand in the river!" 

There's a pause as they look at each other, then Seungkwan sighs and crosses his arms. 

"Did you find anything?" asks Minghao, again.

"Nope," says Chan, "We don't even think there were any traces of old magic in the bottom of the river." He pulls his black cloak off over his head and fans himself, sighing. 

"Told you," mumbles Hansol, "the geography's totally wrong for that. The river's always been here." 

"I still think you have to stand in the river," Seungkwan persists, after a moment of silence, "and standing in a boat is just a stupid idea because you're in the most indefensible position possible." 

Mingyu blinks. "Well, what if it's a central circle? I mean, I still don't know why it's a perfect quarter, but you don't have to stand in the sea." 

Minghao groans, and Seungkwan slaps his forehead. 

"I can't believe Mingyu of all people thought of that," mumbles Minghao, head in his hands. 

"Hey!"

Jihoon frowns. "It's too big to be a central circle," he points out. 

Seungkwan shrugs. "Better than nothing."

"Better than standing in the sea," adds Hansol, then, thoughtfully, "Maybe the guardhouse one is a central circle as well," and reaches for the parchment on the table. 

Minghao stretches. "Let's get the workers to dig along the river. Chan, Mingyu? If you could help out again?" 

"Oh, before you leave. Chan and Mingyu, Jeonghan wanted you for something. Meeting delegates from somewhere? It's okay if you can't do it, we'll fill in," says Jisoo. 

"Stop being a workaholic, " Jihoon says abruptly, annoyed. 

"We will if you really can't," insists Jisoo, ignoring him, "How are you two holding up, by the way? Any difficulties?"

"Jisoo, it's been one day. One single day." 

"If they're having trouble we need to help teach them."

"They're perfectly capable, stop worrying so much." 

"I'd like to hear that from them, thank you."

"We're fine," interjects Chan as Jihoon makes a "see?" gesture at Jisoo, "but thanks for asking, Jisoo. We'll be sure to ask if we have any problems." He puts the cloak back on and follows Mingyu and the rest sans Hansol outside. 

The ride back is tense, unlike the comfortable silence they had had earlier. Jihoon keeps glancing at Jisoo, looking vaguely irritated and unhappy, but he doesn't say anything. Jisoo has nothing to be sorry for, so he just continues looking straight ahead, not saying anything either. 

They leave the horses in the stable they took them from, and head back to Prince Jeonghan's room, finally shedding the heavy cloaks. The maid at the door tells them she'll get the prince for them, and that he said to make themselves at home in his room. 

Jihoon takes the big armchair near the window, so Jisoo ignores the sofa too and ends up sitting at Prince Jeonghan's desk. It's piled high with papers, with a bin full of used candles underneath. More evidence against his supposed laziness. 

Jisoo wonders if the prince is satisfied. 

Being a prince, and the first prince at that, duty and leadership were things that had been thrust upon him since birth. He'd had no choice in the matter, just been given a kingdom and people and told he needed to rule fairly and justly. Told that hundreds and thousands of lives rested upon his every decision. Told that once his father died, he was expected to ascend and take his place to bear the burden of everyone's expectations.

Prince Seokmin had had the same expectations put on him, but had ultimately found his niche in entertaining the people of his kingdom, if not leading them. People's lives rested on his shoulders, too, in their own way. Was he happy with what he had achieved?

The princes were fulfilling their roles perfectly even if they hadn't had a say in the responsibilities they had been given. Jisoo had had a choice, but was he satisfied with his own role?

Prince Jeonghan certainly looks satisfied at least, coming in with the king, a maid pushing a trolley laden with food.

"Let's talk over lunch!" he declares, grinning. 

King Seungcheol sighs. "You just want to eat in your room," he accuses, but sweeps in and takes a place on the sofa. 

"It's my prerogative as a prince, you know. Did you find Chan and Mingyu?" asks Prince Jeonghan, letting up on his smirk just long enough to turn to Jihoon and Jisoo. 

Jisoo nods and accepts the plate the maid hands him. "The team at the site might've just had another breakthrough, though, so they stayed behind to finish up what they were doing. They'll be along soon."

"Well done."

"Yes, yes, this pie is certainly very well done. Good job, you guys." The king shoots his son an indignant look, but Prince Jeonghan just ignores him and continues speaking. "I hope you enjoyed the trip."

King Seungcheol rolls his eyes. "What Jeonghan's beating around the bush about is the new species of insect that seems to be able to get past the barrier and is damaging the crops on the northern side of the kingdom. Jihoon, if we could get you to work out a new spell for the barriers to combat them, it'd be great."

"Sure," says Jihoon easily, "but we won't be able to do any work on it for the next few days since we're resting. I'll draw up some ideas for the time being, but I need information." 

"Is it urgent?" asks Jisoo, despite himself. 

The king raises an eyebrow. "You're not doing anything, Jisoo. You haven't had a rest ever since you were promoted to Head Dark Mage. At any rate, there's no rush. I just wanted to ask Jihoon what kind of things he needed to know so we could send someone else to find out ahead of time." 

Jisoo picks at his food and watches Jihoon think. "For now, the basics are what kind of damage, what the insects do, and their numbers. I might need to know more later on, but that's it for now."

"Sure. I'll ask Bumzu about it. Enjoy the food," says King Seungcheol, getting up.

Prince Jeonghan grins and swallows the last piece of his pie. "Thanks, I will."

"Yah. Stop being so rebellious," says King Seungcheol without any heat, cuffing the prince gently on the head as he leaves. Prince Jeonghan looks at least a little bit sheepish, but recovers quickly, taking another slice of cake from the cart. 

"Anyway, thanks again for the help," he says, changing the subject. 

"No need," replies Jihoon, "spell-making doesn't require magic so it's fine." Behind him, Jisoo doesn't say anything, just frowns and stabs at his cake, accidentally making a loud scraping sound against the porcelain with his fork.

The rest of lunch passes quietly. Jisoo forces the last piece of his cake down and goes to join Jihoon who's waiting at the door for him. They head back to their room together, dropping by the library briefly for Jihoon to pick up some books. Jisoo doesn't say anything, just waits for him to be done.

Once they reach their room, Jihoon sets the stack of books on the desk and tells Jisoo, "I'm going to work on the spell a little. You can sleep or something if you like, I'll wake you for dinner."

Jisoo sighs. "Are you really going to try to get me to sleep at every opportunity you get?" 

"Actually, yes," says Jihoon, a little annoyed, "I've got to if you can't let a single opportunity go by without trying to jump in and help." 

"I can't just not do anything, Jihoon." 

"You can do things, just don't do any magic."

"You're supposed to be resting too, why are you doing magic?" asks Jisoo, suddenly frustrated. 

Jihoon eyes him, then says, "My magic doesn't take anything out of me like it does you. I'd much rather you sleep more now to make up for what you won't get later." 

"Sleep doesn't even work like that. There's no point. I have the privilege of having magic, I should use it to help!" Jisoo argues, a little louder and more vehemently than he had meant to. 

Jihoon doesn't understand. 

Jihoon is made for magic. Even with a limited ability to do spells on his own, Jihoon understands the makeup and logic of magic far better than Jisoo ever would. Whenever Jihoon successfully draws up a new circle, his eyes light up and he smiles. 

How could Jisoo have done anything but help him? How could Jisoo help in any way that he understood, when Jihoon had a far better and more instinctive grasp of magical principles? How could Jisoo have stood by and not used his magic when it could mean the difference between a kingdom of people crumbling and the same kingdom prospering? 

"I get it," says Jihoon suddenly, "you think that if you're not doing anything to help, you're useless because you can't do anything else."

"I- no what? "

"You think you should be satisfied just like this, and you get upset when you aren't." 

Jihoon does understand. Jisoo backpedals, a little frantically, and grasps for something, anything else. 

"I don't need you to take care of me just because you feel obliged to. You just feel guilty because every time you do anything you need me to give up something."

It's the wrong thing to say, and Jisoo knows it as soon as the words leave his mouth. He looks up swiftly at Jihoon, but the flash of emotion he'd seen out of the corner of his eye was gone. 

"I'm-"

"Do you resent me?" 

"Jihoon-"

"Do you resent me for it?" Jihoon asks, again. He's looking back at Jisoo, but for once Jisoo's much-envied ability to understand what people are thinking fails him. 

Jisoo opens his mouth, then closes it again. Jihoon waits, unreadable. 

"It's not your fault," says Jisoo, finally. 

"I see."

He wishes that Jihoon would do something, anything that would tell him what he was thinking. 

"That's not what I meant," Jisoo tries, "you were just trying so hard. I'm- I can't- I don't know if I'm happy, but that's my fault. I should be happy with this."

"You don't have to be. It's okay," says Jihoon. He turns to sit down at the desk, opens the book on the top. 

"I didn't mean it. I know you care about me, I know I'm not just a power source to you. You feel guilty, but it's the magic and the kingdom and the people who need it, you're not being selfish-"

"I know," interrupts Jihoon, head bent over the book, "it's fine. I know." He doesn't look up. 

Jisoo doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do. The sound of Jihoon's quill scratching into paper grates on his ears. 

The sound of the door to their room clicking shut grates too as he closes it. 

Restless, Jisoo defaults back to visiting the others in the research rooms. But everyone is busy, bustling, and though he knows he's welcome, Jisoo feels so out of place and unhelpful just standing there, watching. He worries about Chan and Mingyu again, but remembers they're with the royal family and the visiting delegates. He goes to the library to pick out a book, but he can't seem to concentrate on it. Outside, it gets darker and darker, and at some point maids come along to light the candles. One of them offers Jisoo one to read his book by, but he shakes his head and gives up on it. 

Dinner is beef stew, and Jisoo sits by himself in the kitchen with the others to eat. 

"Where's Jihoon?"

"He'll be along in a moment," Jisoo replies, for a lack of a better answer. The others shrug and accept it. Jisoo squirms a little in his seat, feels Jihoon's absence even if he always keeps a handspan's worth of space between them.

Towards the end of dinner, Jihoon shows up and steals Jisoo's almost-emptied bowl to fill with stew for himself. 

"Oh, Jihoon, finally."

"Was just finishing up some stuff on a new spell," says Jihoon, sliding in easily next to Jisoo. There had been space left for him, but it hadn't been very much, and their elbows knock together as Jihoon eats. 

Jisoo is finished with his meal, but he still ends up waiting for Jihoon. Leaving without him just feels wrong.

The silence between them is stiff as they walk back, but Jihoon breaks it easily. "You said we could always leave, right?"

Jisoo freezes. 

"What do you think about leaving the castle? Just taking a break for a little while." 

"Sure, sure," says Jisoo, laughing uncomfortably, "let's take a picnic somewhere tomorrow."

"Jisoo. I'm serious." Jihoon's shoulders are relaxed, and Jisoo watches the light from the flames of the candles in the corridor play across the wall of his back. 

"Why do you want to leave?" asks Jisoo, tentatively.

Jihoon's shoulders shrug. "I was thinking a lot about what you said at the festival about leaving. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. We've- I've never been anywhere else before."

"…and?" asks Jisoo, quietly, carefully.

"And maybe if you left the castle, you'd realise you wanted to do something else this entire time. Maybe you'd stop needing to do everything because you'd know the castle would survive without you. Maybe you would stop asking so much of yourself. Maybe you'd stop feeling like the only thing you can offer anyone is the magic you get whenever you sacrifice things."

"So you want to leave because of me," Jisoo doesn't say, only takes a deep breath and says, "I don't want to leave the castle." 

There's a brief stutter in Jihoon's step, but he just says "Okay," and continues to lead the way back to their room. 

Jihoon is the first to finish changing into his sleepwear. He walks towards his side of the bed with his arms slightly outstretched, and for a dizzying second Jisoo is convinced he's about to pull his bed back to where it was when they had first moved in, but Jihoon just crawls onto it and sits with the blanket over his legs. 

Jisoo lets out the breath he hadn't known he was holding, glad the candlelight is low enough for his face to be hidden in shadow, and finishes buttoning up his shirt. He gets under the covers like usual, and Jihoon blows out the candle and curls up on his left, his usual. 

Uneasy, Jisoo turns his back to him. 

"Night," says Jihoon, from somewhere behind him.

"Goodnight," Jisoo whispers back, shutting his eyes.


	3. Progress

It had hurt.  
Jihoon didn't like to admit it, but he hadn't been ready for what he had heard, and it had hurt. 

He'd thought he had been. Of course he had thought about it, about Jisoo hating being a Dark Mage, hating whenever he was asked to give up food or sleep or blood or whatever else the kingdom required to function properly. But he'd also thought about how much Jisoo cared about him, and the light in Jisoo's eyes he saw the night they had met that said he wanted to save somebody, too. 

Jisoo had always seemed okay with it, never complaining, never stopping, never saying anything. 

And maybe that was the problem: maybe Jisoo should've said something. But of course, the instant he had, Jihoon hadn't been able to handle it, didn't even talk to him about it, had just shut him out and drowned himself in work. 

He'd thought he had been prepared to accept whatever answer Jisoo gave. 

"It's not your fault," Jisoo had said. 

It would've been easier if Jisoo was a selfish person, as selfish as Jihoon was. He'd left his plantation worker family behind to relocate to the castle and live a comfortable life. His parents, who had never had time for their twelve children, had spent the last week before he left showering him with attention and gifts. Unused to it, Jihoon hadn't even enjoyed it and had been relieved when the time came to leave. 

The castle had been huge and new and intimidating to him, but Jihoon had refused to balk and climbed the stairway to the room all the way at the top of the winding tower he'd been directed to. Magic was something alien and incomprehensible to most of the populace, so he'd expected the swirling globe he was asked to place his hand on to zap him or draw blood, but all it did was swirl a little more and turn a bright mix of greenish yellow. The hooded figure made some notes on a scrap of parchment, then sent him to an allocated room. 

"Is that really it?" Jihoon had wanted to ask, "Can I really do something life-changing just because I can change the colours of a rock just by touching it?" 

Impatient, he'd exchanged information with the other two boys in his room. The globe had given Minghao a deep blue, and Junhui had gotten lavender. 

"I hope the Dark Mages aren't too horrible to work with," Junhui had mused, staring up at the ceiling from his bed in the corner. 

"They're Dark, but they're working for the kingdom too. They have to at least cooperate," Minghao has said from the bed next to him. 

"I don't mind if they're horrible or not, as long as they work hard and give me everything they've got," Jihoon had said, too awake to sleep. 

Minghao had snorted. "What a workaholic."

"You like magic a lot, don't you, Jihoon?" Junhui pipes up. 

"It's supposed to be the solution to a whole load of problems we have now that we never had before, right? I just think that if it's there, we should use it to its full capacity, even if we have to associate with Dark Mages."

Junhui hums. "Mmmm, I wonder if Dark Mages are as bad as the stories say. They can't be too bad if they're helping out, right?" 

Jisoo hadn't, in fact, been as bad as the stories had said. Jihoon had moved into the new room that he was supposed to share with "Hong Jisoo" and spent the first half of the day unpacking and pacing restlessly. When Jisoo had finally arrived, clad in an oversized sweater and with eyes that always smiled slightly, Jihoon had been disappointed. He didn't want someone who was more suited to sitting and sipping tea, he wanted someone who would work hard alongside him and who wouldn't quit being a Mage because he thought it was too hard. 

"I'm Jisoo, nice to meet you!"

"Jihoon."

He'd almost wanted a dark, terrifying person who delighted in causing other living things to suffer. 

"So, where are you from?"

"My family lives on a plantation."

He didn't need to be friends with Jisoo as long as he could provide whatever Jihoon might need from him.

"Oh, interesting. Did you have to travel very far to get here?" 

"Kind of."

He was fine with it if Jisoo hated him.

"I see. What made you decide to become a Mage?"

"When the kingdom lost all its Mages, lots of stupid problems happened just because we didn't have magic anymore. The royal family keeps its information close so I don't know what's wrong, but it's stupid that we've gone backwards." 

"So you want to help?" 

"Yeah. What about it?" Jihoon had growled, finally turning away from the window. 

Jisoo had smiled. "Me too. I hope we can do something about it," then, looking out the window Jihoon had been standing next to, "do you think we can go outside?"

Jihoon had been taken aback. "What?"

"The balcony. If it's there, we can go out, right?"

"It's locked. I checked."

Jisoo had grinned. "So you wanted to go outside as well?" Jihoon hadn't said anything, just stepped aside and let him check the lock. 

"I told you," he had sighed when the door didn't budge no matter how much Jisoo yanked at the handle, "it's locke-"

"Not anymore!" Jisoo had held up a twisted piece of wire, then hopped outside onto the stone floor of the blacony. The cold night evening wind had blown in, scattering paper that had been left on the desk and making the candles flicker. 

"Look, the lights are so pretty," he had sighed, leaning his elbow on the railing. Jihoon had stepped out cautiously after him. He'd never been so high up above the ground before.

The town below them had been lit with the moon and many small pinpricks of orange that were the many windows of people's homes. Jisoo's bangs had scattered and were blowing back into his face, so he had held them back with one hand as he turned to Jihoon and smiled, bright and mischievous, the stars behind Jihoon reflected in his eyes. 

"Isn't this great?" 

Jihoon had thought that together, perhaps they could do everything he ever wished to achieve. 

"I'm glad you think so. I hope we can have a long partnership, too." 

He hadn't realised he'd said it aloud, but Jisoo hadn't made fun of him. The balcony had become too cold for them after a few minutes, and they had huddled up in their respective beds, talking to each other from across the room before it had gotten too late. 

"Goodnight, Jihoon," Jisoo had called, snuffing out his candle. 

"Goodnight," Jihoon had replied and snuggled into the blankets, a little excited despite himself. 

Jihoon gets up from the blankets now to pad over to the door to their balcony. It hasn't been opened in ages, so it takes some effort but eventually he manages to wrestle open the smallest of gaps and slip through. 

The stone floor is cold, but there's no wind blowing so it isn't very cold. Jihoon leans over the railing to look at the view. There are more houses below than there were seven years ago, on that night, but there are less lights simply because it's so early in the morning the sun hasn't come up yet. 

Jihoon can see almost to the very edge of the kingdom from here, can see the wide expanse of Carrot River, can see the small tent where Seungkwan and Minghao have been working, can see the ruined buildings that used to house the people that lived there before the Magic Exclusivity. The sky is clear of clouds and the stars and the moon are faint and ghostly, dimmer in the approaching daylight. 

"Can't sleep?"

Jihoon shrugs, glancing at Jisoo briefly as he squeezes through the gap, then turning back to look out over the large expanse of land. Heights no longer give him vertigo. 

"The sun's going to come up soon," he says instead.

"Mmmhm. We haven't come out here in a long time, have we?" Jisoo comes up beside him to prop his elbow on the railing and breathe in. 

After all this time and everything that's happened, Jisoo and Jihoon are still in tune with each other. 

Jihoon is thinking about this as he says, "Sorry for overreacting. I know you never thought that about me, but it hit a nerve. I shouldn't have asked that." He fixes his eyes on a random house, refuses to look even as he hears Jisoo shifting his weight next to him. 

"Yeah, I know. And I shouldn't have said that, but what you said was right on the mark, so I got scared. Sorry. But you knew that."

The silence settles comfortably between them. Jihoon shifts a little closer to Jisoo, and as always, Jisoo lets him control the space. 

"I want to help," says Jisoo, "I still do. That hasn't changed. I really want to be able to do my best and do everything and take it on myself because I think that if I can get through this, nobody else will have to have it as hard as I do. I suppose I should be satisfied, but every time I think about everything we still haven't worked out, I get so frustrated." 

"That was very self-aware. How long were you awake thinking about this before you come out here after me?"

Jisoo laughs, embarrassed, but continues. "You feel guilty about me but they're my choices. And don't be so pushy about taking care of me."

"I'm not stopping."

"I'm not asking that you do, just to tone it down a little. I'm grateful to you, you know." 

"Hm," says Jihoon.

Jisoo bumps their hips together, gently. "I wasn't just lying in bed thinking about myself."

"Of course you had to spare a thought for someone other than yourself."

Jisoo rolls his eyes. 

"I hated fighting with you," admits Jihoon after a moment, still looking at the house. 

"Me too. It was weird. I didn't like it." 

Jihoon takes a deep breath, then says, "I still want to leave. Even if it's just for a little while."

"You- what?"

"I wasn't just saying I wanted to leave because of you. I think it could be good. I've never been anywhere and I want you to try not being a Mage again." 

Jisoo's lazy content expression fades, and he looks unhappy. "But-"

The door to their room bursts open. "I think I've got it!" someone yells from inside their room. Jisoo casts an alarmed glanced at Jihoon and makes for the door, but before he can get through the gap Hansol yanks it open from the other side in one violent movement. 

"I think I've figured it out! It's all one really big circle! Really, really big, and separated into quadrants! It's the same circle!" Hansol rushes past Jisoo and points wildly at Seungkwan and Minghao's tent next to Carrot River. "That's one section, and the other ones are the spell Junhui was trying to get to work the other day and the guardhouse circle," he exclaims, moving his finger in an arc, "if there's another part-circle around the upper section of Carrot River then it's just one really big separated circle!" 

"Hansol," begins Jisoo, "have you been working on this the whole night?" 

"Yeah! I was thinking and thinking and thinking but I couldn't understand how to centre the guardhouse circle or make the sea one work but it doesn't matter if they're all one really big circle! Then I ran to the library map to look at all the locations and it lined up. It's a perfect three-quarters!" 

Hansol spins around, a wide grin on his face, then seems to stop as he realises something. "Oh shit, Dino and Mingyu are temporary Head, you guys are supposed to be on holiday, they're gonna be so mad," and runs out as fast as he came in. 

"Do you think he realises it's around five in the morning?" 

Jihoon shrugs and heads past Jisoo to go back inside. "We have a map of all known magic circles, don't we?" he asks, digging around their desk. Behind him, he can hear Jisoo struggling with the door. 

"Ye-a-h," says Jisoo, drawing out the word as he pulls the door shut bit by bit, "I haven't seen it in a while, though." He shakes out his hands, wincing a little, and comes to join Jihoon by the desk. 

The corner of the map is sticking out under several heavy tomes. Jihoon lifts them off with a grunt, and Jisoo spreads the map out on floor. He draws a line from the corner of the part-circle near the guardhouse to corner of the Seungkwan-Minghao part-circle, then a line perpendicular to it from the corner of the Junhui-Soonyoung-Wonwoo part-circle. Jihoon follows up with a compass, drawing two perfect circles: the circumference of one coinciding with the outer edge of all the part-circles, and the circumference of the other linking up their corners perfectly. 

"It's definitely a little too perfect to be a coincidence," he mutters, standing back from the map. 

Jisoo, who had been rifling through a file while Jihoon drew, looks up and says, "There haven't been any expeditions so far upriver, so if there was something there we wouldn't have found it." 

"You really think Hansol's onto something?"

Jisoo shrugs. "He isn't a Mage, so maybe we just missed it because we were too busy studying the part-circles individually instead of as a whole." He draws an approximate quarter-circle where the lines intersect, thoughtfully. 

It's two hours before their usual wake-up time. Jihoon briefly debates the merits of going back to bed before discarding the idea. "Are you hungry?"

Jisoo is also hungry, so they go down to the kitchens where Hansol and a slightly grumpy Mingyu are sitting with a loaf of last night's bread. 

"It's a complete circle! If we find the last quadrant and it matches up, it'll be confirmed for real!" 

"Mmmhm," agrees Mingyu, kind of blankly, picking at his bread. Hansol looks disappointed that he doesn't seem to be excited, but quickly perks up when he notices Jihoon and Jisoo. 

"Oh, hello, morning! You guys think it's possible too, right?"

"We looked at the map, and it definitely works out geometrically," says Jihoon, sitting down and slicing some more pieces of bread. 

Mingyu seems to wake up a little at this. "Wait, you told them already? At this hour?"

Hansol backpedals. "I, uh…"

"We should go and check out the last location," says Jihoon, ignoring him, "it'll be whatever confirms or denies it."

"We should ask Junhui for their section of the circle," says Jisoo, "he'll be up soon. Is Chan still sleeping?" 

"He had to do some things for the delegates last night, so I let him sleep in," says Mingyu, "Do we have copies of the other parts?"

"We should have a copy of every circle we've found," mumbles Hansol, rummaging through his bag, "I just took the whole stack of transcribed circles." 

"Whole stack of what?" asks Junhui, yawning as he comes into the kitchen. He does a double take at the amount of people in the kitchen. "Isn't it like, six? What are you all doing in here?"

"Could say the same for you," says Jihoon as a shocked Hansol mouths "It's six?" at Mingyu, who's more interested in getting his bread perfectly buttered. 

"I always wake this early, it's the rest of you that sleep in. Anyway, what's going on?" 

"It's a breakthrough! There are some part-circles which are actually one really big entire whole circle!" exclaims Hansol, brightening up instantly and getting up to grab at Junhui's hands. 

"He hasn't slept since last night," explains Jisoo, helpfully.

Junhui stares, then says, very slowly, "Is that why I couldn't figure out some of the symbols? They were cut off? They were part of a bigger circle? I have to get the others awake, oh my god." He bolts out of the room, dragging Hansol with him and ignoring Mingyu's belated "Wait, you understood him?" 

Jihoon sighs. "Let's see the circles, then." 

They search through the stack of papers in Hansol's bag. Jisoo moves the bread so they can spread it on the table, letting Mingyu have it after he makes a sad noise at him. Junhui returns with his section unpinned from the wall, towing his two partners behind him. Hansol watches eagerly as they line up the sections, and starts redrawing the entire thing on a blank sheet of paper. 

Junhui stares mournfully at the edge of his section. "It lines up perfectly. I recognise those sigils," and slumps into a chair, defeated. Soonyoung pats him on the back sympathetically, and Wonwoo takes the opportunity to try and nap on his shoulder. 

"I knew it," crows Vernon, still rapidly sketching, "It was too perfect to not be connected." He curses as the door to the kitchen slams open, startling him into jerking his quill off-course. 

"We call dibs on the new circle!" yells Seungkwan, almost tripping over Mingyu's long legs as he rushes into the kitchen, black cloak flapping behind him. Minghao follows him at a more sedate pace, but doesn't look any less determined. 

Junhui snaps his head up, somehow managing not to dislodge Wonwoo. "No, we've been working on that thing for ages! It's ours." Soonyoung props his chin on Junhui's head and tries to stare Seungkwan down.

"We knew this would happen! If Hansol hadn't sent us the messenger, you'd have taken over the whole thing."

"Guys," Mingyu says wearily, "don't fight."

"Jisoo," says Jihoon, under his breath as the others start to bicker, "let's be the ones who go to look at the new quadrant." 

Jisoo looks surprised for all of a moment, then sighs, unhappy. "It's on the other side of the river, it'll take us at least a week to be done even if we work as fast as possible. We can't be away for that long." 

"You said you didn't want to leave the castle, right? This isn't leaving, it's just an expedition."

"I don't want to leave Chan and-"

"You can't keep going on like this," hisses Jihoon, a little too loudly. The others shoot them curious glances, so he grabs Jisoo and pulls him out of the kitchen. 

Outside, Jisoo folds his arms and leans against the wall, mouth pursed. "I'm not going to go, Jihoon. It's a little too far away, and we've always sent one of the others there. The Heads stay at the castle."

"So let Chan and Mingyu temp again."

"I can't just shirk my duties and make them keep temping for us!" 

"You're scared to let them temp because you're worried that they'll burn out, and you'd rather it be hard on you instead. You're not even afraid they'll fail because you have full faith in them, you just want to protect them."

Jisoo opens his mouth, then changes his mind and lets out a long, frustrated breath instead. "Yes, okay, you're right." 

"Then come with me. I'll never bother you about leaving again if you still want to come back after we've been out there, on our own. I've never been outside, and you've been too stuck in here." 

Jisoo pulls a face. 

"Jisoo. Please. I just-"

"Need to know how it would be different if we hadn't decided to become Mages," Jisoo finishes for him. 

Jihoon nods, unable to say anything more. 

"I should've never brought leaving up, " says Jisoo. 

"That's not a no."

There's a pause, then Jisoo sighs and says, "It isn't, if the king agrees to let us do it." 

 

~~~~~~

 

King Seungcheol lets them do it. He tells Jisoo, "You should really learn to take a break," and "You're always welcome back here even if you do ever decide to leave for good," and "I feel the same way about letting Jeonghan be king after me, but you've got to let the kids grow up sometime."

Jisoo isn't entirely sure he's convinced, but he'd already agreed and Jihoon had looked so relieved about it. King Seungcheol had requested that they finish the spell for the crops before they left, though, so they had travelled the three days to the northern side of the kingdom to perform the magic first. At least this way the trip was shorter and more productive, Jisoo supposed. 

Jihoon finishes drawing up his side of the circle, and steps into the centre. 

"Ready?" he asks. 

Jisoo makes sure he's standing on the right sigil. "Mmhm."

"Okay. Starting in five, four, three, two, one." 

On the last word, Jihoon breathes in. The edges of the circle light up, starting from the one Jisoo's standing on and rippling slowly anti-clockwise, brightening up every rune it touches. Magical light is bright, but isn't strong in the same way as natural light, so Jisoo is able to follow its arc without being blinded. 

Jisoo waits for the light to return to his place, then breathes in, in his own turn. He turns his right arm, palm up, and slices twice near the crook of his elbow, the cuts parallel and shallow. The knife begins to glow, and Jisoo carefully collects the few drops of blood on the tip of the blade, which he presses into symbol at his feet. 

The symbol winks out. Jisoo feels a part of his magic rush down through his arm and, faintly, the twitch of Jihoon's shoulders relaxing fractionally as he lets go of that part of the circle. 

Jisoo stands back up, and moves onto the next symbol, walking clockwise. The cuts in his arm, encouraged by Jihoon's magic, don't seal up but bleed a little more freely. The spell is small, only an add-on, but by the time Jisoo's done he still feels a little lightheaded from all the magic that's been pulled out of him, though part of it is probably the blood loss. Blood wasn't a very versatile component, but Jihoon had been thinking about the trip and had decided that it was probably the least damaging thing Jisoo could put towards the spell. 

The sweat on Jihoon's forehead runs down his nose as he bends his head over Jisoo's arm with a bandage. He wipes it away with the back of his other hand before carefully securing the other end. 

"Are you alright?" he asks, peering into Jisoo's eyes, "That was kind of a weird spell, I don't think it usually pulls so strongly." 

"There's usually more buildup for it, I think," Jisoo points out, and finds himself sat on the ground without having intended to do it. 

"Mmm. That might be interesting to think about," says Jihoon, sitting down next to Jisoo without complaint. Jisoo can see the cogs ticking away in his head, working already to figure out the new phenomenon. 

"Could you really ever leave magic behind," he doesn't ask, "when you love it this much?" 

The way out is wide open for the both of them, but perhaps that just makes leaving harder. 

"I heard Chan woke up and made everyone play scissors paper rock for the circle," says Jihoon, and Jisoo knows it's to try and keep him here and grounded as his body adjusts to so much magic being gone all at once, "Seungkwan was devastated, but Minghao managed convinced him to work on one of the newer circles. They're thinking about seeing if there are any other disconnected part-circles that'll line up. The radius and the circumference of the circles can't be changed because of the power ratio, but if you separate them, the activation area can be made bigger. That's the theory, anyway.

"Junhui and Wonwoo are really excited. Well, everyone is, but their team's been stubbornly sticking to the same non-functional spell for years because they were so absolutely determined to be the ones to get it. Soonyoung's just glad the others are happy." 

"You are good with people, you know," says Jisoo, before he can stop himself. 

There's a pause, then Jihoon hums, non-committal. "Maybe." 

"By the way, it's your parents who own these crops, right?" 

"Mmmhm." 

"Did you want to see them?" asks Jisoo, neutrally. 

"I don't think they would recognise me. It's been too long. Anyway, the last time I saw them, they tried to hug me and give me sweets." 

Jihoon has never liked sweets. "I remember. You gave them all to me." 

"You know me better than they do. It's fine." 

Jisoo shakes the long sleeves of the travelling cloak back down over his arms, and gets up. Jihoon does too, brushing the dirt off his clothes. The castle usually looms above them whenever they're outside, but right now it's small and far away, will be even smaller and even further away. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah. Let's go."


End file.
